Mama, mama I am sick!

David is sick. He started having a cold last Sunday, 21 November. This is actually the first time he ever experienced having a cold and flu, and unfortunately an ear infection that is a consequence to his cold. Monday, he had his 8th medical check-up. Until now I wonder if his doctor actually noticed how awful his cold already was, as David was crying the moment I settled him on the weighing scale. After the usual routine check, my husband and I mentioned it to the doctor. He advised us to use the serum drops to clear and clean his nose. Aside from that David was in perfect health.
Tuesday, David started crying terribly, and couldn’t take his usual late morning nap. He started feeling warm, and when I checked his temperature, it recorded 38.5 °C on the thermometer. I didn’t give him his medicine right away as the doctor said we should do it only when his body heat surpasses 39 °C. So I went on rocking a screaming David for like eternity, until he fell asleep.
On that night, it was a “déjà vu” of what had happened in the morning. No, it was worse, a lot worse. David, hardly finished his milk and was screaming to death. No matter how we tried to ease him down or danced him in my arms, it didn’t work. For the whole night, he managed to sleep for only two hours.
At 6 AM the following day, Manu called the “SOS doctor”, who arrived less than thirty minutes later. David was sleeping tight on our couch. I even thought, my gosh, of all time he chose the doctor’s visit to be calm and tight asleep. The doctor went on to check him: his stomach, chest, back, mouth, ears, everything. It was in his left ear we found the reason to his previous crying episodes. He’s got an ear infection, and there were traces of blood.
Being first time parents, it was pretty scary. My heart sank. When I looked at Manu’s face, it had the weirdest expression. The doctor must have registered what we felt, as he instantly told us that it was nothing serious and that ear infection is actually a common sickness for infants, especially around this time of the year.
David is taking antibiotics for eight consecutive days plus paracetamol for his pain. This is the hardest part. There is the issue of following the measurement up to the last drop and worst of all there is actually just no easy way of giving medicine to a baby. Every time we give it to him it is a constant struggle. It is bearable during the night when Manu is around, but during the day, I get kicked, slapped, spitted on and my hair pulled, not to mention his wails and huge tears. I have a feeling he hates his nappy-table now, somehow he associates it to these constant tortures.
Currently, David is feeling much better. The fever has stopped. But the nose is still running like Niagara falls. It looks so heartbreaking, at the same time funny when his cold starts to roll down and when I don’t catch it first, he wipes it off with his hand, making trails to his cheek. Many times I witnessed his nose making bubbles and popped out back to his nostrils, of course I laughed! I even have photos of these occurrences!! (bad mother). When I carry him and I forgot to check on his nose, he would either wipe it off on my clothes or grab my hair and use it as his handkerchief. That would be David’s survival trick, a punishment for mama who is not constantly on guard.
Going on about his cold, it is really terrible. As his nose rattles and the cold going in and out, I felt many times helpless. When he struggles drinking his milk and trying to breath at the same time, I find myself, holding my breath, and afterwards gasping for air. It is like staring at a person choking, fighting for air. My chest gets tight, and I couldn't breath. But David manages to coordinate all these, he sucks several times, open his mouth wide and breath, then suck again. He is a tough little baby.
At the moment, feeding time is a horrible time for both of us. I tried following advises from our doctors and friends, that is clearing up his nose before feeding. This basically means dropping some nasal drops in his nose or when the cold is abundant, pumped it out with rubber suction. This is another torture episode for both David and me. It is just way out too tough to vacuum his nose with this suction bulbs when there are tiny, yet strong legs and arms waggling wildly, not to mention his head going left and right trying to ward me off. And as he hates it more than me, the nasal discharge gets even worst as he continues to cry.
Several times, I sucked his nose myself. It is easier as he couldn’t do much strangled between my elbow and chest. I heard a friend’s brother has done it with his child. And my mother had definitely done it when we were babies ourselves. I thought at the beginning it was disgusting, but when you hold your child in your arms who is gasping for air through his mouth, all the hocus-pocus of feeling disgust just go inside the bin. Hmm, I didn’t like at all having a taste of David’s snot, it’s not like a cocktail, but David doesn’t like it either, at least we are on the same sphere, which is quite reassuring. The last thing I want from him when he’ll have another cold occurrences is to beg me, “Mama can you suck up my nose, pleeaasee?”
Now, aside from nursing a baby, here comes the paranoia of making everything in the house squeaky clean, starting from drawer handles down to every fiber of his things. So, I make sure all his non-washable toys are strictly wiped, his stuffed toys washed and dried as he uses them at times to wipe his nose, I could see dry snot on them. Cow, bear, kangaroo, giraffe, monkey, elephant, duck, boat, cars, trains, balls, shapes and all get their daily pampering in the warm bath. These lucky little fellas have to be dried and cleaned so that when David wakes up, they are ready for another sneezing, biting, snot-wiping game.
This has been going on for a little more than a week now. Of course, I am tired and have a cold myself. But when you are taking care of a sick child, your neural radar seems to be more attuned to keeping the baby as comfortable as possible, and at the same time praying that his cold will be over real soon and well, hoping that tonight he’ll just go to sleep without waking up every now and then.
Babies are born dependent, and a million times vulnerable when they get sick. It is frightening and heartbreaking to witness a baby sick because you just don’t know where he is hurting. It is likewise frustrating because much as you want him to feel better really quickly, there is no quick fix; lullabies, cuddles and rocking just don’t do the work. And finally, a bit selfish now, it’s tiring. You don't get enough rest and sleep. Your muscles ache and there's a constant bobbing in your head. Well, it’s okay if you have a full time help. I certainly don’t have.